I was just thinking about this in church the other day and haven't been able to get it out of my mind. I feel that I should share it and maybe help someone else in this study that we're going through. Recently our small group members have shared with each other that it's been a challenge to keep up with the readings. We've discussed how life sometimes gets in the way and it's just a struggle to do it. Then we feel guilty for not doing the readings and we feel pressured and overwhelmed to get caught back up; it's just a vicious cycle. I've certainly felt like this before too in starting new studies or books. I just know that's the devil at work on us to keep us from the riches God has in store for us. But no matter how we KNOW that to be true, we continue to stumble into the same patterns with each new mountain top experience of God's or new study that we're excited about that then fizzles out a few days into it. Larry agreed that the readings were especially hard during the week with all the measurements of the tabernacle, etc.
Recently I've found that sometimes it's helpful to look around at other people's lives to get a true grasp of our own. Sometimes we just get so caught up in whatever we think is crushing us. Some things we just can't get on top of or in control of and we can't help but let these things get us down until we see what someone else is dealing with. I've felt that a lot recently with my own diagnosis of breast cancer and although I have a lot of issues to deal with, I can still find things that other people are going through that inspire me. This helps me to just keep on moving and deal with whatever little things come my way because we're all dealing with something.
Hopefully this doesn't come across as seeking pity or complaining on my part. I thought it might be that push for some of you who are struggling with finding joy in the reading or who are finding it to be a challenge every day just to get through it. We started this year's long walk through the Bible the very week I started my personal year-long treatment plan for chemotherapy. I think that's pretty cool and probably not a coincidence for whatever God has planned for my life this year. At first, I thought that He just had something He wanted me to specifically learn or refocus on. Or maybe , even though I've read through the Bible before, that I would see it in a new light this time. These might still be the case, but what I'm starting to see is that maybe God knew what my frame of mind would be this time around. Maybe He knew that physically things would not be going well and with each new ailment that comes my way it would start tearing me down little by little. Maybe He understood that I would have a hunger and a thirst for fulfillment that nothing but His word could give me. It seems like too often we search for answers in the things of this world instead of in the Bible. Here we know God has already left us everything we need but, unfortunately, our hearts just aren't into it.
I simply wanted to write a note of encouragement to all of you who are plugging through the reading and maybe aren't finding joy in it or are struggling with getting it done. Like I said, I'm not looking for pity here but I figure God allowed this disease to find me for a reason so I'm trying to let Him use me as He will and I feel like it might help one of you out there to know what an amazing God we serve and how much comfort and complete fulfillment I'm finding going through these readings. I've had to deal with a lot of physical ailments with starting chemotherapy and what some might find psychologically challenging as well, like losing my hair, or keeping up with hard questions from the kiddos around me. Sometimes I just get tired of thinking about it all. And when the usual comforts of going out to eat, or shopping, or watching TV, or whatever it might be for you aren't there, you realize what is there, what has been there the whole time. I can't believe how excited I was about the geneology of Adam to Noah to Abraham. It was like I had never seen it before. God has given us not only a book of instructions and history about where our ancestors came from but a book of tremendous hope and encouragement, of strength and love. It's one of the things that is pushing me through all this other crud that I feel the devil would love to use against me as he attempted to in the book of Job.
So be enouraged! God didn't give us this book or His commandments to make us struggle or feel guilty or overwhelmed by them. These stories of God's love and mercy and His promise of Heaven should be freeing more than anything. It should free us from being bound by sin or the so-called riches of this world or from how we measure up to society's standards, or from the sickness and disease that's all around us. What an amazing God we serve!
